new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
