i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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