Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
