you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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