last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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