I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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