i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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