who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This is the prime rib incident all over again
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
