I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize