At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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