I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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