That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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