No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
