peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Princesses don't give blow jobs
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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