But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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