Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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