If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize