i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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