Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
