mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
