He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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