I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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