i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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