To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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