your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just found a bag of teeth...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
