we have pet lesbian snakes
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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