K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
