Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
