It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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