You're completely useless in the revolution.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
