She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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