Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
