The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
