dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
