there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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