I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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