My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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