i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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