So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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