I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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