He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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