Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Holy shit dude........stairs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
