So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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