sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize