She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
