i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
