you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
