i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
