Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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