Dual....:-)
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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