sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
