thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
