I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
