Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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