I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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