I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize