I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
