This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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