LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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