I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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