You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
