Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
