he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
