its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
