She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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