who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
pop tarts are not kleenex
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize