Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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