Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
