i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
