So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
