Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
