I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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