she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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