I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
