I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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