Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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