Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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