I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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